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Where I have been, and why I am still here

July 17, 2014

Many people whom I have helped over the years have enormous appreciation for me. I appreciate that :). Please don’t make me greater than yourself! When you do, you make me a god or icon. The god in you won’t stand it for long. We are all one in God-no favorites, no hierarchy.

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It may seem as a shock to some of you, but I am working from my home office.  I work over the phone or video chat. If you have had the opportunity to work with me in CT prior to 2010, you remember that muscle testing was essential to my practice in order to discern your state of health. The muscle testing was the key to the door to solve the ‘cause’ of your condition. It always gave my access to information that was so specific to your own healing. Well, I still do muscle testing! I know that may sound ridiculous because during a session, you aren’t even in the same state as me, never mind room!  I am able to muscle test using my index finger and middle finger to connect to the same acupuncture points, chakras, meridians etc. This may still be stretch of faith for some people, I understand.

If you have never had a phone session with me, I can assure you, the results are perfect as before. It was very empowering for me to learn that I could assess you and heal you long distance. It became essential when I decided to move to Florida. I believe it has helped people heal on a deeper level because there is more privacy for the patient.  A lot of people call me for their appointments from their car, although it is not optimal. People can call anywhere they want and it adds comfort. For me, it is better because, I can discern information much better because an intuitive reading requires as little outside stimuli as possible. Most of the time the shades are closed and the lights are dimmed in my home office. The patients that I have seen here in Florida know this. I have helped some Floridians who come to my home office.

 

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What I want to tell you is that I could have continued living the life that I had originally created in Connecticut and it would have been ok. The problem was that I wasn’t totally fulfilled and it was slowly killing me. I am sure I seemed happy to you and I am sure I would have convinced you of it too. I had settled.  I believe that too many people stay in marriages that need to be severed. Too many people are unhappy and stressed yet settle. It feels like the American way honestly. It is the culture we live in. It is difficult to press through the big questions of life and then additionally to act on them! It takes courage. It takes balls to have a vision and follow it through. I believe, that it is rare. It is rare because we accept mediocrity. Pleasure, passion, and bliss are not commonly exemplified or experienced.-just sayin’.

Throughout my professional life I have had a difficult time being true to my heart. I have been raised by 2 parents whom are workaholics. It has been a gift to witness this to remind me of what I don’t want. I had the gift of my grandmother’s sudden death to teach me to live my life NOW!  But that lesson is slow in its integration.  I became sad, stressed and depressed to an all-time low by my early 30’s.  Friends of mine in the energy medicine field could see it. I was in denial.  I have always been an artist. Somehow, school, life responsibilities, and my relationships took priority and I buried that part of myself and rationalized it out of my awareness. My craft supplies were literally stored up in my house in CT in the basement collecting mold. My left brain continued to rationalize that it is not important. I made small changes to accommodate it and care for it. It didn’t help enough and I found myself crying to one of my best friends in 2008, who knew something was wrong and took it upon himself to move in with me. He built me a craft station with cabinets and counter top upstairs. Relief! It helped tremendously.

That same summer I had gotten a reading by an amazing healer, Lisa Denton. She saw that I had a lot of indigo in my aura (signifies creative, intuitive) and I was hardly utilizing it. She told me that if I didn’t change, I would develop a disease. (mind you, all the while, YOU are getting healed by me with great success and appreciation for me at my office on Tunxis Hill Rd in Fairfield, CT, but I am dying! What hypocrisy!) She told me that I was going to go through a butterfly experience similar to Michael Jackson who had just passed, but I would still be here. I felt that I couldn’t keep helping the world and neglecting myself for long yet I took the message with a grain of salt. I continued to live what I now know was a dull life. Shortly after that session with Lisa, I got a fortune cookie that said ‘you are heading to the land of sunshine :).  Little did I know, God intervened and sent me my high school boyfriend. I left my marriage and relationship of 15 years, my family, friends, and headed to the sunshine state over the following year.  Thank God I had been already mastering intuitive healing, long distance healing via phone so that I could continue to help you and myself.

I got to Florida and within 7 months, I was pregnant with Justin. I spent the next few years in transition, processing all these changes in a small period of time in a 600 square foot apartment with an infant, Jeff and an eighty pound dog whom I never wanted and still don’t. Only to move again into my home that I have now which I am tremendously grateful for. There is and was a lot of newness-becoming a mother, new relationship with myself, with Jeff, new state, moving 2x, etc. plus grieving the old I just left.

Notice I didn’t mention any ART! Because, once again I had put it aside on the back burner of my life. I was moody, lonely and blamed it on my new life and that I just needed to make new friends and connections. (And all the while, you are still receiving my help and healing while I am suffering, lol) I thought ‘How long does it take to grieve my old life before I can move on? Here I was not happy again! Had I made a mistake? The solution to my problem was that I was last on my list and I needed to be first again. I had made a vow 6 years ago to allow myself to be first and I had forgotten. I even got my first tattoo of a butterfly to signify the shift in 2010. I vowed at the moment I made the decision to divorce, I would put myself first. I have created primaries (affirmations) to put myself first. No more would I live for others! This made the pain and suffering greater as it was a reminder that I was off course.

I have the privilege of being friends with an amazing healer, Dr. Denise Nadler, whom I called out of shear desperation and hitting rock bottom only a few months ago. Her style is similar to mine as she gets to the root and it is likely that you will find that it is not what you thought the problem was. I had been believing that my problem was one thing but I was looking in the wrong direction. She nailed it! She made me realize that I was lonely for me, and that was liberating and empowering. I was needing to connect to myself, my bliss through art.  It was very clear that I was looking outside to heal my loneliness problem when the solution was an inside job. Art is being intimate with me. It is food for my soul. I was Starving.

In 2011, sitting in that tiny apartment, I was in labor about to give birth to my son, Justin. I created my second business. I made the logo on Vistaprint with business cards, a shirt, magnets and I made a Facebook page etc. It is called Anastazia’s Designs.   Check it out : Anastazia’s Designs.  I birthed my son the next day and put the art business on hold until now. So now, after speaking with Denise, I have made it a priority again. Art helps me help you! So now you know what I am doing on Tuesdays and Thursdays…..

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I hope I have inspired you to live from your heart’s inspiration. We are here to live life to the fullest.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Cara Brook permalink
    November 7, 2014 1:03 am

    I love it! What a great message and some beautiful art. Thx for sharing 🙂

  2. Dr. Denise permalink
    November 8, 2014 6:50 pm

    I read it purely out of interest, as you express so well through writing, and was quite surprised by, (and grateful for), the shout out. It is wonderful to feel your inspiration. You are a gift to those you serve.

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